On some days, the struggle with your anxiety is so strong that you can’t even get up from your bed. You think of all negative thoughts and your mind wanders until you’re lost. I find myself going in and out of this zone every now and then and I know it’s not the best place to be in. Your thoughts are sometimes so overwhelming that they can choke you and push you to extremes where you never thought you could go.
You feel the urge to end things in one quick moment, you feel the urge to cut, you feel a void inside you and you feel that you need to do whatever it takes to fill that void. But darling, you need to pause. I’m not going to ask you to ‘snap out of it’ or just ‘go party’ but I’m going to ask you to follow a few steps that I’ve made from my own experience dealing with anxiety. Yes, I’m struggling too and I’ve talked about it a couple times before and it’s taken a lot of courage to actually write it down.
I have days of self-doubt, bad thoughts, anger, sadness, zoning out, breathlessness, restlessness and all of the other feelings that can come and go in our mind.I still go about my day, I go to my office, I talk, I laugh, I have lunch with my peers but there’s still a sinking feeling inside of me. Now the trick is to not ignore it. The idea is to get face to face with it and have hope.
Whenever you’re feeling restless/breathless, pick up a simple activity. In my case, I like to count. I give myself a goal and I count. The last time I was feeling breathless, I gave myself a goal of slowly counting till 500 to be fine and guess what? I was counting and was on 300 when I realized that my breathing had become normal. It was really that easy. I’m not saying that it wasn’t difficult at first but it got better as I got further.
When you have too many thoughts in your head you can do the three things I do. First, go to sleep, it’s going to take a while but it’ll do you good. Second, write it down. Take your laptop or a diary and just write exactly how you’re feeling(you can dump it later), once those thoughts are out on paper, you will feel relaxed and your mind will feel calm. Both these things help me out a lot because I’m not somebody who talks about struggling with something very easily. I build walls around me and take my own time to let them down but the joy of opening up to someone is also unparalleled for me. So the third thing is to actually talk it out with someone. You decide the number of people you want to talk to and the extent to which you want to tell them how you’re feeling. That is completely up to you. There are amazing people all around you, you just need to place your trust and let go, just a little. Your parents are a blessing, don’t worry about pressurizing them a lot. Have faith in them and they will help you.
When you feel angry, scribble on a piece of paper or divert your attention to a game or a doodle, nothing too complicated or competitive. Everyone deals with anger differently but it’s unfair to take it out on somebody else. Try to not do it because you will only feel bad about it later.
When you feel the urge to cut or harm yourself in any other way, go out. Just go to any public area and sit down where people can see you. Again, you can mention it to somebody you place your trust in. They will do whatever it takes to take your mind off that thought. They might even be stern with you but that might just be something that you need at that exact moment.
There are so many times where we feel low, where we hate ourselves, where we blame ourselves for everything that’s going wrong in our lives and I know it’s very, very difficult to deal with those moments but have faith in yourself. That’s the best you can do to yourself. Have faith and hold on. Give yourself chances. Share your experience with other people, who knows what they’re dealing with? Help them too. Be there for them just like you would want somebody to be there for you.
I feel so blessed to have people around me who are ready to help but I know for a fact that the only person that can really help me is me. So go on, turn the volume up and dance a little, write a little, eat good food or cook some, watch youtube videos, immerse yourself in books, or just write a blog post!
*you can read more about my personal stories in the ‘Life‘ section of my blog*
Lots of love,