It all started when I was a little girl. I used to watch tonnes of Disney and Hollywood movies and would spend hours and hours looking at the beautiful clothes that the women adorned and the confidence it gave them. Confidence is what fashion meant to me in the early years years of my life.
Growing up, I felt that the clothes I wore were directly proportional to the mood I was in. If I was happy, I’d pick brighter colors, shorter lengths, and fancier designs. If I wasn’t feeling too well, I would wear a pair of pants(which I used to hate as a kid, yes ‘hate’!) and perhaps a shirt (again, something I wasn’t very fond of) but it would still not be a total drab outfit. Good or bad, my mood is what fashion meant to me then.
Over the years, fashion has meant many different things to me but what remained at the base is how fashion influenced and was influenced by every aspect of my life. That’s how I communicated with the world which I didn’t seem to understand at many times.
Fashion, however has never ‘just’ been runways or magazines for me. It was the women wearing garments both plain and fancy, and everything in between in the movies I loved. It’s the women that have walked past me over the years with their fabulous taste and distinctive styles in streets, in malls, or even in my travels to different cities.
Fashion has helped me overcome the tough times in my life. Every time I felt I was at my lowest, fashion and my love for clothing has comforted me and been rock solid support. It’s also my form of paying respect to the people I meet every single day. It’s my way of telling them that I’m happy to see them and that I care to be here.
The past year has been mentally challenging and extremely tough on me and it’s also been the year where I lost touch with fashion. There are many reasons but honestly, the main reason is because I had a job in which I played the role of an expert of just one particular category which slowly made me believe that I wasn’t good at anything else anymore. I stopped writing my blogs, stopped curating looks and talking about fashion in general and slowly lost confidence in things I spent years working on and learning from.
I’m starting to believe in myself again but that doesn’t make up for the year I’ve lost. I’m taking my time and making up for what I lost in the process. Confidence is what fashion meant to me in the early years of my life and I think it’s fashion giving me confidence again.